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The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare
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Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso
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04_02
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1991-04-10
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103 lines
A Road near Coventry.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.
Falstaff Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of
sack. Our soldiers shall march through. We'll to Sutton
Co'fil' tonight.
Bardolph Will you give me money, captain?
Falstaff Lay out, lay out.
Bardolph This bottle makes an angel.
Falstaff And if it do, take it for thy labour; and if it make
twenty, take them all - I'll answer the coinage. Bid my
lieutenant Peto meet me at town's end.
Bardolph I will, captain. Farewell.
[Exit.
Falstaff If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused gurnet.
I have misused the king's press damnably. I have got in
exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers three hundred and
odd pounds. I press me none but good householders,
yeomen's sons; inquire me out contracted bachelors, such
as had been asked twice on the banns - such a commodity of
warm slaves as had as lief hear the devil as a drum, such
as fear the report of a caliver worse than a struck fowl
or a hurt wild duck. I pressed me none but such toasts-
and-butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger than
pins' heads, and they have bought out their services; and
now my whole charge consists of ensigns, corporals,
lieutenants, gentlemen of companies - slaves as ragged as
Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs
licked his sores - and such as indeed were never soldiers,
but discarded unjust servingmen, younger sons to younger
brothers, revolted tapsters, and ostlers trade-fall'n; the
cankers of a calm world and a long peace, ten times more
dishonourable-ragged than an old fazed ensign; and such
have I to fill up the rooms of them as have bought out
their services that you would think that I had a hundred
and fifty tattered prodigals lately come from swine-
keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me
on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.
I'll not march through Coventry with them, that's flat.
Nay, and the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if
they had gyves on, for indeed I had the most of them out
of prison. There's not a shirt and a half in all my
company; and the half shirt is two napkins tacked together
and thrown over the shoulders like a herald's coat without
sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth, stolen from my
host at Saint Albans, or the red-nose innkeeper of
Daventry. But that's all one; they'll find linen enough on
every hedge.
Enter the PRINCE and the Lord of WESTMORELAND.
Prince Henry How now, blown Jack? How now, quilt?
Falstaff What, Hal! How now, mad wag? What a devil dost thou in
Warwickshire? My good Lord of Westmoreland! I cry you
mercy, I thought your honour had already been at
Shrewsbury.
Westmoreland Faith, Sir John, 'tis more than time that I were there,
and you too; but my powers are there already. The king, I
can tell you, looks for us all; we must away all night.
Falstaff Tut, never fear me, I am as vigilant as a cat to steal
cream.
Prince Henry I think, to steal cream indeed, for thy theft hath already
made thee butter. But tell me, Jack, whose fellows are
these that come after?
Falstaff Mine, Hal, mine.
Prince Henry I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Falstaff Tut, tut, good enough to toss; food for powder, food for
powder; they'll fill a pit as well as better. Tush, man,
mortal men, mortal men.
Westmoreland Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and
bare, too beggarly.
Falstaff Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had that;
and for their bareness, I am sure they never learned that
of me.
Prince Henry No, I'll be sworn, unless you call three fingers in the
ribs bare. But, sirrah, make haste. Percy is already in
the field.
[Exit.
Falstaff What, is the king encamped?
Westmoreland He is, Sir John. I fear we shall stay too long.
[Exit.
Falstaff Well, to the latter end of a fray and the beginning of a
feast fits a dull fighter and a keen guest.
[Exit.